my favorite part of any trip to mcdonalds is the sudden and unavoidable flashbacks to the time when I got stuck in the slide for 5.5 hours and the staff had to slide down mcnuggets so I could keep up my energy while they cut the slide in half with a hacksaw. half-slide is still there, haunting me and the other kids who sudden fall through a hole halfway through their journey down
i’m not one of those people that will preach unconditional sex positivity
because some people’s “kinks” are having sex with children
and rubbing their genitals on random people on the train
miss me with the lectures about “kink shaming”
because there is a line
and way too many people cross it
I hate shirtless white boys who think they’re doing humanity a favor if they call a girl beautiful go get high off your axe deodorant spray
beep beep friends
When people say “keep in touch”, do they really want to keep in touch
cos I will be the annoying one…
are there even any houses in the usa which touch each other???
like in britain some houses are terraced or semi-detached
but in america they’re like “dON’t tOUch mE!”
I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT BRITISH NEIGHBORHOODS LOOKED LIKE. THANK YOU.
Isn’t that like a major fire code violation? Like if one house catches on fire, POOF there goes the whole fucking street up in flames.
we never learn
- parents: get out of bed, why are u so lazy?!
- parents: u need to get more sleep u look really tired
it’s been exactly 10 years since Rachel got off that plane and I’m still not over it.
this is how you end a show. you don’t give the audience exactly what they want, or take it completely away from them either, you leave them with the idea of what could be
you don’t throw all sanity to hell in the hopes of going out with a bang, you go out with a warm hug and a thank you
you don’t give the characters the perfect dream ending, you give them something better
and this is how you end a show that is so powerful, people are still emotional about it 10 years after it ends.
me on the first date
in math today my teacher asked what makes a number perfect and I said its dazzling personality and she almost kicked me out